In this post, I would like to discuss a technique that I use a lot, and allows you to easily develop conversations with women, beyond the initial opening line. I call it «detailing» or the «reasoning technique».
People naturally look for reasons to explain all kinds of events and situations, and therefore, in any situation we can find all kinds of reasons and explanations.
Salesmen and marketers perfectly understand the power of reasons, and always try to explain to us: «30% discount because we are closing the store» – the reason why it’s so cheap, is because they are closing the store. Or «Summer Sale – 1+1 on all the t-shirts» – again, they are giving you the reason for the new sale – because it’s summer now. Are those reasons logical? Not always, but we need reasons, any reason, to accept and understand things.
Not Just In Marketing
Think to yourself, if you want to invite a girl to come to your place, would you say simply: «let’s go to my place»? Well, you can, but most of them won’t agree to come.
On the other hand, if you will say something like: «Let’s come to my place. I want to show you photos from my last trip to Australia. I have some really beautiful pictures that I am sure you will love». Using this will give you much higher chances.
It’s true also when you start a conversation with a girl that you don’t know – In a bar, party, mall, on the beach, or any other place. When you start a conversation, your goal is to continue talking, until the girl feels comfortable enough, and the interaction becomes fluent.
I used to go out with friends, and they were shocked, how long I can talk with women and find new topics. Some of them asked me «How can you continue talking like this?»
The typical answer would be «just don’t stop talking». But this is not a useful answer, and it’s somehow like saying «just be yourself». On the long term, a man should just get used to this art of creating a conversation.
But on the short term, we need simple techniques and methods to begin, which is like learning to swim in the shallow water first. So this technique that I would like you to begin with is using reasons.
Using Reasons to Open a Conversation
It’s very common for men who have logical professions, such as computer scientists, mathematicians, economists and so on, to be very short and summarized in their sentences. They simply have no idea how to continue talking and find more words to say.
Using reasons can double and triple the length of your sentences, and I will demonstrate it using examples. Also, there can be different layers of reasons.
Layer 1 – Declaration without a reason: «I want Starbucks». This is very short and boring.
Layer 2 – Question without a reason: «Where is the nearest Starbucks here?» This is also short, but at least it’s a bit longer than the first layer.
Layer 3 – Question With a reason: «Excuse me, where is the nearest Starbucks here? I just have to drink some caffeine before I go to work.» You see? This is a much longer sentence, and it became longer because we used an explanation.
Layer 4 – Question With a reason and explanation to the reason: » Excuse me, where is the nearest Starbucks here? I am asking this because I just have to drink some caffeine before I go to work… Although I’ve read that caffeine is not so healthy for you and makes you feel stressed and angry». Now we’ve already created a very long sentence.
Layer 5 – Question With a reason and explanation to the reason and an introduction: » Excuse me, where is the nearest Starbucks here? I am asking this because I just have to drink some caffeine before I go to work… Although I’ve read that caffeine is not so healthy for you and makes you feel stressed and angry. Oh, by the way, my name is Richard. Nice to meet you.»
How Can We Use It To Pick Up Women?
The above example were just examples, to show you how easy it is to develop a conversation using reasons and explanations, and you can even explain the explanations.
The purpose of using long sentences in the beginning is because women might not be prepared, and even a bit «shocked» when you start a conversation with them. They don’t know who you are, and have no idea if they want to talk to you or not.
If you simply use a short opening line, they will probably reject you already in the beginning. But if you give them enough time – and 30 seconds can be enough, women will feel much more comfortable to talk to you.
By the way, you can use this technique to create a «serious» conversation, but you can also use it to create. What’s important is the way you continue your sentences.
Get Used To Using More Words
A great problem that men have with women is that they have no idea how to continue an interaction.
The technique that we’ve learned in this post is a great way to continue the initial interaction, and to make you sentence longer and juicier.
However, this is only one technique. As you gain more experience in approaching and talking to women, you goal will be to learn and get used to have long interaction, to find ways to add more and more topics into your conversation.
This is an art, but this art will be vital for your chances to succeed in meeting and attraction women.
Richard Liso is a fan of personal improvement and developing success skills. He also owns his personal blog about dating, attraction and picking-up women.