Out of all the questions I’m emailed, there is one that continues to surface…
«What is the most important skill to develop in pickup?»
I believe the very nature of this question is problematic. It suggests that there is a quick fix to our dating problems and that’s simply not the case.
If there is one thing I’ve discovered in my trainings, it is this: Powerful pickup techniques can certainly help a client, but not NEARLY as much as identifying and eliminating previously existing bad habits.
Most of the time the client is not aware of these habits, and it requires some real work on my part just to convince them that they exist in the first place.
This is also what I believe is wrong with most of the pickup training or dating tips for guys out there…It teaches a methodology or system without taking into account the individual hangups that the client most certainly has.
The unique training I’ve developed with Dr. Robert Epstein (one of the most respected psychologists in the world) not only presents a comprehensive pickup system to master, but the exercises are individually tailored to each client.
Now before I get too sale-sy, you should know that I’m actually making a point here:
The most important pickup skill you can develop is to become more aware of your own bad habits…and come up with effective solutions to help get rid of them.
In other words, you can master every damn dating tips for men and pickup technique that you want… but if every time you open you mouth, flecks of saliva spray her in the face… you’ve pretty much failed no matter what.
Now, of course there are many other skills and dating advice that one could argue are ‘the most important. ’
For example, we are very big on relaxation here… Giving every client an arsenal of invisible ways to minimize stress in tough situations is essential.
But there is one other skill that I feel deserves mention…In fact, this is the skill that in my not-so-humble opinion separates the men from the boys in the dating game:
The ability to cope with resistance.
Lets face it, most of us have had an easy lay at one point or another. Hopefully you know what I’m talking about…It was just ON…You liked her, she liked you, you were horny, so was she… Escalation to sex was as smooth as butter.
This kind of lay doesn’t impress me at all.
Not that I turn it down when it happens, of course;)
What impresses me is how a client performs in the face of real resistance. In other words, she is blocking your attempts to push the relationship forward. Oftentimes this resistance is a result of a mistake you might have made.
And we all make mistakes, so get used to it.
The best seductions I’ve ever done were always the ones where I made a critical error…and was able to recover.
So the next time you screw up on an approach or a date, remember that it is actually an incredible opportunity to see if you can bounce back…